How to Distract Someone with Dementia

When someone you love has dementia, it can be difficult to witness moments of agitation or aggression. They may suddenly lash out, become frustrated, or say hurtful things that feel out of character. In these moments, distraction can be a powerful tool to ease their anxiety and redirect their attention.

Understand the Triggers

The first step is to identify what might be causing the distress. Often, there’s an underlying reason behind the agitation. Is it a certain time of day, like late afternoon (known as sundowning)? Has there been a change in routine or environment? Common triggers include:

• Fatigue or lack of sleep
• Loud noises or overstimulation
• Being asked to do something they find difficult (like bathing or remembering)
• Loss of independence (such as no longer being able to drive)
• Medication side effects
• Physical discomfort, pain, or depression

By understanding and minimizing these triggers, you can often reduce the frequency or intensity of outbursts.

Respond with Calm and Compassion

When agitation arises, try not to argue or correct your loved one. Even if what they say doesn’t make sense, arguing can make the situation worse. Instead:

• Speak in a calm, reassuring tone.
• Validate their feelings (“I can see you’re upset.”)
• Avoid reacting emotionally.

Try Gentle Distractions

Redirecting attention is often effective. Here are a few ways to gently distract someone with dementia:

• Offer a snack or drink – A familiar treat can be comforting.
• Engage the senses – Aromathera
• py, a soft blanket, or gentle touch can soothe.
• Play music – Sing together or listen to favorite songs.
• Turn on a favorite TV show – Something light and familiar may help.
• Go for a walk – A change of scenery and movement can be calming.
• Do a simple task together – Folding laundry or sorting objects can provide purpose.

Stay Safe and Seek Help

If your loved one’s behavior becomes aggressive or unpredictable, take steps to protect yourself and others. Remove potential hazards like car keys or sharp objects. Make sure you talk to your doctor or care team for the best course of action in these situations.

With patience, understanding, and a few thoughtful distractions, you can help your loved one feel more secure—and help yourself feel more in control.