When Capt. Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger talks about the early signs of Alzheimer’s disease, he doesn’t describe one dramatic moment when everything changed. Instead, there were little things.
The famed “Miracle on the Hudson” pilot began having more difficulty remembering people’s names. He sometimes repeated himself without realizing it. He found himself relying more heavily on his calendar. His wife, Lorrie, said the changes were subtle and easy to dismiss at first.
Her experience offers an important reminder for every family: Know your person. When you know someone’s habits, personality and abilities, you may be more likely to recognize when something is changing. Here are six practical tips.
- Look for changes, not perfection.
Everyone forgets a name or appointment occasionally. Instead of focusing on an isolated memory lapse, consider what is normal for your loved one. Has someone who rarely needed reminders started relying on them frequently? Is a person who always managed the household finances suddenly struggling with bills? A noticeable change from their usual abilities may be worth discussing with a healthcare provider.
- Pay attention to patterns.
One forgotten appointment may not mean much. Repeatedly missing appointments is different. Watch for patterns such as asking the same questions, forgetting recently learned information, struggling with familiar tasks or becoming confused about dates or places. The Alzheimer’s Association identifies these among the warning signs that warrant attention.
- Notice more than memory.
Alzheimer’s doesn’t only affect someone’s ability to remember. Changes can also appear in communication, judgment, problem-solving, mood or personality. Someone may have difficulty finding familiar words, following a conversation or completing a task they have done many times before.
- Write down what you see.
If something concerns you, keep a simple record. Note what happened and when. Specific examples — Dad missed two appointments this month or Mom got confused driving to a familiar store — can be more helpful than simply saying someone “seems forgetful.”
- Start a conversation.
Memory changes can be difficult to discuss. Choose a quiet time and approach the conversation with care. Try focusing on what you’ve observed: “I noticed you’ve been having trouble keeping track of appointments lately. Have you noticed that, too?” Then listen. Your loved one may already be aware that something feels different.
- Don’t diagnose. Do ask.
Memory and thinking problems can have many causes, so noticing changes doesn’t mean someone has Alzheimer’s disease. It does mean there may be a reason to talk with a healthcare provider. An evaluation can help identify what may be causing the changes. When Alzheimer’s is the cause, early diagnosis can also give individuals and families more time to consider treatment, resources and plans for the future.
Know Your Person
Perhaps the most useful lesson from the Sullenbergers’ experience is a simple one: You know your person. You know how they tell a story. How they manage their day. What they remember. What comes easily to them. When those familiar patterns begin to change, pay attention. You don’t need to have the answers. Noticing, asking and starting a conversation can be an important first step.
